Let me ask you something. Have you ever in your life, in whatever situation you can possibly recall, smashed a wooden crate to get something?
Anything at all, like… smashed a heavy wooden shipping crate into tiny pieces, just to get a Moro bar. Maybe there was a copy of Pacman IV inside a sturdy packing crate at the back of the local video entertainment game emporium, and you happened to be carrying a crowbar, or just have insanely strong hands….?

No?

A barrel, perhaps? Have you ever laid into a bulging wooden barrel with a crowbar until it’s just splinters and kindling, so you could get, say, a bag of coins or something that was in there?

No? Well… me neither. I’ve never given myself splinters trying to get food. I’ve never had to destroy shipping containers to make myself feel better. Which brings me to “the fucking point”; why have 90%** of computery video games got crap hidden in crates and barrels?

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Guys, do you know how many new anime series are coming out right now? It is a lot! Easily, let’s say, over one billion new animez per second, and I’m not one prone to exaggeration.

In fact, by the time I’d finished writing my last post, all three of the episodes for this post were already waiting for me to watch them. I don’t know what you expect of me, internet. Is there such a thing as too much anime?

No.

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I’m going to come out and call it - this blog is off the rails. Off. The. Rails. The last post was in March. The one before that was in 2007. 2007! I can barely remember 2007, it was so long ago. I’m kind of surprised that the internet was around back then. Didn’t everyone wear parachute pants and program on punch cards (simultaneously)? Something like that.

I’m not impressed with the content, either. Social commentary? Satire? What the fuck, guys. No one wants to read that shit. You think the internet is interested in silent protests and global warming? Hells no.

I’ll tell you want the internet wants to read about - anime. If we can be sure of one thing, it’s that the internet needs moar anime blogs.

Luckily for Okaybro, Dr Stab is here to inject a much needed dose of otaku into this here website.

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well it’s been awhile between drinks , this was of course intentional in the hopes you would be salivating for the next update. In reality it’s probally lead you to belive this is an abandoned corner of the internet, Accordingly I have sent our marketing department to their deaths, I mean , on a team building exercise to attempt to create a “buzz” around Christianity in Iran.

Well today the writing starts again and I will be looking at finding some other jerks who will also update with some regularity if that sounds like you please feel free to drop me an e-mail.

Anyway I don’t know about you but I hate small talk to the point where it almost makes me physically sick to partake in it. Unfortunately for me I constantly find myself in situations where I have to engage in it , so by the end of the day im ready to take a bath with the toaster.

The worst type of small talk is that you have with the acquaintance … You know this persons name and any thing beyond that interests you about as much as a kick in the groin. These conversations typically go one of two ways;

a) you both engage in a conversation even though it’s painfully obvious that neither of you care if the other lives or dies. You will talk for long enough to seem polite bfore one of you makes up and excuse to leave. In extreme circumstances there may be a handshake , some watching tapping and an ” I got to run mate , lets catch up sometime”

b) he/she gets quite excited and wants to have a deep and meaning full about what is going on in your life. This is often awkward as you are not even sure if you have their name right and couldn’t give a shit either way.

Please tell me im not the only one who feels this way? Also feel free to share your small talk experiences.

ADV put up a teaser trailer a short while back for the KyoAni remake of Kanon (otherwise known as Kanon 2: Kanon Harder). This with the recent annoucement of AIR (otherwise known as You’re Gonna Cry Like A Bitch) should mean an official licencing press release is soon.

For those of you who need a brief refresher, Black Lagoon and Kanon were the only shows in the past year that rocked so hard that fanboy’s anuses collectively exploded nationwide upon watching abovenamed series. Kanon was about lots of snow, takiyaki, and punching people in the face with rocket launchers like real men.

Watch it; don’t be a fucking pussy.

Call me old fashioned but when I think of protests I think of placards , chants , tear gas and hippies getting beaten by police. So when I read in today’s paper about a 3 minute long “Silent Protest “ I had to scratch my head and wonder just how that works. I mean I understand how you go about one but what effect does it have? A moments silence to pay respects yes, however I don’t get how a silent protest “sticks it to the man”.

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Remember the first time you watched The Wire and said “Wow, this is great; I wish I could watch it without the black people!”? Well, the people running FX remembered, and that’s just what they set out to do with DAMAGES.

Well, maybe not entirely. It is true that the show is a whitewash, but it’s also more about lawyers and stuff than McNulty having a beer and driving his car into a playground. I guess what I’m trying to say is that they both have a series long story-line, as opposed to that episodic crap.

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So, I was flipping through the pages of a certain scientific magazine (which I only buy to make people on the bus think I’m smart), when I found the most mind-fuckingly sweet article.

It’s about global warming- WAIT! DON’T GO! This is actually interesting for once, honestly. It’s about the most kick-ass, insane geoengineering ideas scientists have come up with to try and stop the entire planet being turned into the Gold Coast…. and that’s a good thing. (38 degrees is fine when you’re by the pool, yeah. But you try having a wank in a hotel bathroom at that temperature- it’s like wrestling a snake in a sauna.)

There are two competing ideas, at the moment. They involve railguns, so I’m sure you guys won’t fall asleep on me.

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25 and never had your penis touch anything but your own hands? dont worry it’s not because you repulse the opposite sex … it’s because you’re smart! According to this study people with higher IQ’s are less likely to loose their virginity before hell feezes over.

By the age of 19, 80% of US males and 75% of women have lost their virginity, and 87% of college students have had sex. But this number appears to be much lower at elite (i.e. more intelligent) colleges. According to the article, only 56% of Princeton undergraduates have had intercourse. At Harvard 59% of the undergraduates are non-virgins, and at MIT, only a slight majority, 51%, have had intercourse. Further, only 65% of MIT graduate students have had sex.

The student surveys at MIT and Wellesley also compared virginity by academic major. The chart for Wellesley displayed below shows that 0% of studio art majors were virgins, but 72% of biology majors were virgins, and 83% of biochem and math majors were virgins!

I don’t know about you but when I was at school the “smart” kids generally were to busy getting wedgies and playing magic the gathering to be chasing any tail. Chin up nerds , being smart pays off later in life , where it matters.

Dammit. Looks like that article I was so eager to shove my filthy paws on yesterday was an elaborate hoax by Ashton Kutcher to PUNK’D me.

And if I knew the source was a UK newspaper in the first place I would have been a lot more dubious. Still, I make no apologies, because I got to write about grizzly bears and shop a dildo into her grip.

So it kinda evens out.

However, I’m sorely gonna miss the potential rofl factor of shopping her into BumFights screenshots. Whore.